


out

by recordharry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 10:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4217586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/recordharry/pseuds/recordharry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>louis and harry come out. is there much more that needs to be said?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. one.

"harry, we can't stay inside forever." louis said. 

"yes, we can." harry responded, keeping his eyes on the televison in front of him. he was trying to avoid louis' eye contact. it was quite hard, though, because louis was almost completely in front of him. 

"come on, don't you want to go out and get some lunch?" louis pressed.

"people hate me. have you seen the news? have you read magazines or tweets?" harry asked. 

"well, yeah, but-"

"i can barely deal with it through a cell phone. it'll be worse in person, and you know it." harry said stubbornly. 

"you're focusing on all of the bad things." louis said softly, sitting on the couch next to harry. "there are so many people who are supporting you... supporting us."

harry sighed. louis put his arm around him and pulled him closer. 

"listen to me. we made this decision together and you can't flake out on me now. we've been in my flat for two weeks and i'm getting a little stir crazy." louis wasn't about to go out and leave harry alone at home while he was feeling so hurt, so alone and scared. 

"i know." harry said. "i'm sorry."

"you have no need to apologize, i'm just worried. we need to go out, and it's going to have to happen sooner or later." louis told him. 

harry nodded. he didn't have much to say as of right then. he knew that louis was going to continue to talk. 

"how long have we been hiding?" louis asked.

"uhm, two weeks." harry noticed something on the television and paused the screen.

"no. how long have we been hiding?" louis repeated. tears started to well up in harry's eyes. 

"five years."

"now, don't you think it's about time we go and live our lives?" louis asked. he didn't notice harry's tears.

"i guess." harry said. 

"then what are you so afraid of?" louis asked a rhetorical question. he knew all too well what harry was afraid of. he just wanted to get him excited for what was in the future. 

"this." harry answered. "this is what i'm afraid of." he pointed to the television. louis focused his eyes on the screen. 

do you think harry styles and louis tomlinson made the right decision? it read.

below the title was a pie chart. 

73 percent, no, highlighted in bright red. 27 percent, yes, in green. 

"who gives a shit about those numbers?" louis said. "i sure don't, and you shouldn't either." he reached across harry's lap and grabbed the remove, turning the tv off.

ever since zayn left the band, harry had been a mess. the smallest things got to him, making him so upset, and he always felt like crying. 

the day that zayn's departure was announced, harry didn't talk to anybody, not even louis. he saw how upset all the fans were on twitter and that made him feel worse. 

it hit all of the boys very hard, but none as much as harry. it was told to the four that zayn was leaving mere days before it was publicly announced and harry was still trying to cope with that. he couldn't believe that zayn wasn't happy because it had never seemed like it. 

harry thought that the five boys of one direction would stay together as long as possible. apparently, that was not the case. 

during the remainer of on the road again, harry wasn't as happy as he used to be. he tried so hard to be his usual self on stage and the support from the fans definitely helped. he needed to be strong, for them. but he could barely do it. 

offstage, harry kept to himself. after shows, liam, niall, louis, and harry spent time together in hotels, watching movies or playing games. harry was either on his phone texting his mum or laying on the bed with louis while niall and liam messed about.

louis always did whatever he could to make harry feel better. sometimes all he needed was a hug, other times louis would lay in bed with him for hours, softly rubbing his back and playing with his hair. 

harry genuinely appreciated everything louis did. he had no idea what he would have done without him. louis wanted terribly for harry to feel happy but instead he had fell into some sort of depression. 

louis hated seeing him so sad. he absolutely despised watching harry cry and sometimes it made him cry, too. 

the painful flashbacks slipped from louis' mind as harry took his hand, intertwining their fingers.

"i'm sorry." he said. "i'm sorry for making you stay here with me for so long and i'm sorry that i haven't done anything you want to do. i'm sorry that i'm such a shi-crappy boyfriend." louis couldn't help but smile to himself; harry didn't like to swear. but after he processed all of harry's words, his smile immediately turned into a frown. 

"why do you think like this, harry? i know it's hard because people are being nasty to me, too. like i said, we made this decision together. i hate that you are so upset but it's time that we try to forget about it, okay? we have our fans, our families, and two great friends who support us and that's all that should matter."

two great friends. harry thought to himself. not three, two. 

zayn hadn't kept in touch with the boys. harry texted him a couple times a week but he never he got a response and sometimes he felt like he was being a bother. he wanted to stay connected to his best friend, or at least who he thought was his best friend. 

"baby, why are you crying?" louis asked worriedly, scooting closer.

"i'm-i'm just thinking about zayn." harry answered, wiping his eyes. 

"don't think about him right now." the truth was, louis didn't want to think about zayn, either. "let's just go to bed for a while, yeah? we can go out another time."

louis stood and took harry's hands, pulling him up to a standing position. their bodies were close and harry was looking down at louis with sad eyes.

louis wanted to lighten the mood. 

"i've never really been happy with my height, did you know that?" he asked.

a small smile appeared on harry's face. it was amazing how the smallest things that louis did could change his mood.

"i'd rather be..." louis stepped onto harry's feet and stood up on his toes. "here." his chest was touching harry's and their faces were close. 

harry immediately brought his hands up, his rings on his right hand chilling louis' soft cheeks while his other hand rested on his small waist.

"if you ever feel sad like you did today, come and talk to me. i'm always here for you and i always will be; you know that." louis said.

"i know." harry's voice was quiet. he felt horrible, he wanted to try and make an effort for louis. "how about lunch tomorrow?"

louis' face lit up. "really?"

"yeah." is all harry answered. louis knew how he was feeling and it meant everything to him that harry was going to start to live a little. 

harry lowered so that his forehead was on louis'. their slow breaths were quiet and louis couldn't take his eyes from harry's. 

harry's face showed a smile but his eyes told another story; louis suddenly felt the need to tell him something.

"i love you, okay?"

harry nodded. "i love you."

louis smiled his smile that harry adored and then stepped off his feet, taking harry's hand in his. 

together the two of them walked to louis' room. they kept the lights off and the shades down, the only dim light provided was through the closed-off window. they knew the layout by heart so it was no trouble to make their way to the bed.

harry always slept on the left, louis on the right. it never mattered in the end, though, because they always ended up together in each other's arms.

harry climbed in next to louis, who was already laying down and comfortable. he took the bun out of his long hair and louis smiled. he thought harry's hair was so beautiful. 

louis wrapped his arms around harry. harry snuggled into his chest and took a deep breath, feeling relaxed. 

"get some rest, love." louis whispered. "i'll wake you around dinner time." harry was so exhaused, he probably would have been able to sleep right through the night. 

"what about you?" he asked, yawning straight after. "aren't you going to sleep?"

"probably." louis answered. "but if i don't, it's okay. i just want you to rest."

"okay." harry yawned again. "i love you, lou." louis smiled to himself. harry made him so happy. 

"i love you more, harry." louis said. by the time he spoke, though, harry was already fast asleep in his arms.


	2. two.

they ended up sleeping through the night. louis' alarm didn't go off and he was in such a deep sleep and it seemed that not even the loudest sound could wake him.

harry woke up first the next morning, though, around five-thirty. the bed covers were pulled up to his chest and his tight black jeans were uncomfortably hot. he desperately wanted to change. 

louis' head was halfway on his shoulder, so harry carefully reached under the bedsheets to hold onto the top of his jeans, pulling down. 

it took a large amount of effort because his pants were so tight and the way he was laying made the task quite hard. 

"what are you doing?" louis sleepily asked; his voice was tired and could barely be heard.

"i'm, uhm, taking off my pants." harry told him. 

"oh, okay. i love you." it was hard to tell if louis was even awake, his voice sounded so sleepy. 

harry finally finished removing his jeans, tossing them to the floor and leaving himself in his black boxer-briefs. he relaxed, putting an arm around louis and looking at him. 

he thought that louis was so beautiful and it was unbelieveable that one person could be so incredible. he was everything to harry, his whole entire world. they had been through so much to get where they were. 

harry eventually fell back asleep with thoughts of louis clouding his mind. 

when louis woke up, the first thing he thought of was going out. that was the day, he and harry were going to be in public for the first time together. he couldn't wait to finally show off the love of his life to the world. he checked his phone, the time reading 10:04. 

"harry, baby." he said. "we've been sleeping for more than twenty-four hours. how did this even happen?"

harry could hear louis talking, but wasn't fully registering everything he was saying. he felt too tired. 

"come on, we have to get ready!" louis said excitedly. "don't make me kiss you with my morning breath."

at the sound of that, harry turned to face louis. "don't you dare."

louis grinned. "that's my boy, i knew it would work."

"i like to be sanitary." harry told him.

"well, it sure doesn't seem like it when you touch my-"

"thank you, louis, that's quite enough. go take a shower." harry cut him off, his cheeks turning red. louis laughed. he wanted to start the day with a smiling harry and it seemed to be working. 

"i'm so excited for today!" louis said, climbing out of the bed. harry pushed the covers off of his legs and sat up, his back against the headboard. 

"me, too." harry told him, although he wasn't very sure at that point.

"are you sure?" louis asked. it was as if he was reading harry's mind. "we don't have to if you aren't ready." louis wanted to go out so badly but if harry didn't want to, he would wait as long as it would take.

"i think so." harry answered. "it's time." louis smiled again, he felt so excited and couldn't contain it.

he pulled off his grey jumper and tossed it at harry. 

"what do you want me to do with this?" harry asked him. 

"i don't know, wear it if you want. i have to wash it."

"lou, it would never fit me."

"i'm not that much smaller than you, am i?"

"maybe not terribly, but small enough so that your clothes don't fit me." harry said. "i think it's cute."

"i want to be taller." louis whined. "what if i was the same height as you?"

"you're perfect just the way you are." harry smiled. "i wouldn't trade you for the world." he stopped. "that sounded really dumb, but it's true."

louis grinned. "i am so lucky."

"go take a shower, baby." harry said. he rarely used such a nickname for louis but when he did, louis' heart leapt. 

louis collected himself and then pulled off his sweatpants, tossing them onto the bed. he entered the bathroom connected to the bedroom and closed the door behind him. 

five minutes later, harry mustered up enough energy to get out of bed. he brushed his teeth and attempted to fix his hair. he had just showered the day before and slept for most of the time so he didn't feel the need to shower again. 

he didn't bother to put his pants back on and sat back on the bed with his phone in his hand, responding back to his mum who had texted him a few times. 

louis emerged from the bathroom feeling refreshed with minty breath and his favorite skinny jeans on, rolled at the ankles. he grinned when he looked at harry.

"i'm so excited for lunch!" he exclaimed. "where should we go? i don't know too many places around here."

harry knew the city like the back of his hand. he spent so much free time in los angeles that he could probably give a tour with his eyes closed. louis only had an apartment there so that he could stay near harry.

"what are you in the mood for?" harry asked. "italian, seafood, french... anything you'd like."

"french?" louis asked. "they have that?"

"yeah, i've been there once before. it was very good food and they have excellent service." 

"service doesn't matter." louis said. "i just want to go out. don't worry about that."

"i want the best for you." harry told him. "french it is, then?" 

"yes!" louis cheered. "come on, hazza! get up?" harry looked shocked. 

"hazza?" he blinked. "you haven't called me that in years."

"i guess it just slipped out." louis shrugged. "i kind of miss it." 

"to be honest, i miss it, too." harry confessed. "five years ago, we could be our true selves and i loved it."

"but now, we can be ourselves for real!" louis told him. "today is the official day, we are going to go out and live our lives without a single person telling us what to do or how to act. aren't you excited?" he took harry's hands in his own and pulled him off the bed to a standing position. 

louis then ran to harry's large closet and pulled out a pair of jeans, tossing them across the room. harry quickly changed his underwear and put on his jeans while louis looked for a shirt.

"what do you want to wear?" he called. 

"something nice." louis knew just what to pick. a navy blue button up with small white hearts patterned all over it. 

"i love this shirt." louis said. "it looks so good on you." he brought it to harry and sat on the bed next to him while harry pulled off his t-shirt.

"don't you think it might be a little small?" harry asked. "i've had it for years. it would probably fit you!" louis groaned. 

"just because i'm small doesn't mean i'm weak." he taunted playfully. "i'll fight you." 

"fine, then. let's fight." harry laughed. he sat on louis, straddling his waist. they stared at each other for a while, trying to hold in their smiles. harry shifted his weight slightly and louis felt a swell in his pants. his cheeks heated up. 

"if you sit like this any longer we might be doing more than getting ready." he whispered. harry cursed under his breath and louis' eyes widened. "what was that?" 

"oh... i, um..." harry was embarrassed. "i just thought it was... hot, that's all."

"what kind of hot?" 

"come on, don't do this to me." harry sighed. "you know what kind." he wasn't one to swear or do any types of "dirty talking". 

"don't be embarrassed by it." louis said, clasping his hands behind harry's bare back. "at the right time it's a good thing. a very good thing."

"oh, louis. you have such a dirty mind sometimes."

"i know." he grinned. "it comes in handy on occasions. you would know, wouldn't you?"

"why do you keep making so many innuendos today?" harry sighed, putting his head on louis' shoulder. 

"it's just happening. you aren't complaining, are you?"

"well... no. i don't know... i guess not."

"don't be embarrassed." louis smiled. harry lifted his head and made eye contact with louis. "you should never, ever be worried about what i think of you. i am so in love with you that i can't imagine my life with anybody else. plus, i've seen you naked."

"what does that have to do with anything?" harry's cheeks turned red. 

"just proving a point." louis shrugged.

harry sat in thought for a couple minutes before speaking. "i'm sorry if i don't seem really into it right now. it's been a long two weeks and i'm doing all of this for you... so i need time to adjust."

"i know." louis answered softly.

"i love you, and even if it doesn't always seem like it, i promise that you are my whole entire world. please know that, okay?"

"of course, harry. i know. we've been through way too much to not know." 

"i guess we should get going soon...?" harry said after a couple minutes. he climbed off of louis' lap and took the shirt that was picked out off of its hanger. 

"yes!" louis exclaimed. "i am so excited. do you think there will be paparazzi around?"

"they left the yard here after a couple days and haven't been back since." harry told him. "i'd assume they've given up."

"until we go out, that is." louis commented as harry finished buttoning his shirt. harry tensed and looked at louis again. "it'll be fine. i'm here to protect you, remember? if anyone says anything to you i'll punch them in the face."

"please don't do that." harry said. "i don't want you to get in trouble."

"who cares? i'm not letting anyone hurt you." louis told him. harry grabbed his favorite pair of black boots and pulled them on his feet. 

after about twenty more minutes, they were finally ready to go. harry stuffed his phone in his pocket and soon the two boys were standing at the door. louis placed his hand on the handle, slowly opening the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cheesy cliffhanger. gotta love 'em.


	3. three.

louis slammed the door shut the second he had opened it. 

"what are you doing?" harry asked worriedly. louis' breathing patterns were abnormal and his hands were shaking. 

"i... i can't." he said. his eyes were watery. harry watched intently as louis took deep breaths. "i'm scared." he said quietly. 

"louis... louis, no." harry stepped closer to him. "we've come too far to stop now. i mean, look at me! i've been moping around for two weeks and you were begging me to leave. now here we are, and it's time. you've showed me the importance of being myself and i will forever be grateful for that." harry cupped louis' cheeks in his hands.

"i don't want to cry." louis whispered as tears started to fall. 

"there's another thing you taught me. it's okay to cry, if that's what you're feeling. let it out now so we can have an incredible afternoon together." 

louis wrapped his arms around harry's waist and the gesture was returned. they spent a couple minutes hugging while harry talked to louis to calm him down. 

"okay." harry said. "do you feel better?" 

"yeah." louis answered with a sigh. "i'm sorry."

"don't apologize, remember? this is a hard thing for both of us." they looked into each other's eyes for a minute, nervous thoughts running through both of their heads.

"i'm going to kiss you now." harry said softly. "i wish this could be like the movies; one kiss and all of the problems are solved. but it's not, so we can just try to forget about everything for a couple seconds, okay?" louis nodded. 

harry leaned down to reach louis. he was nervous as it it was the very first time they shared a kiss. louis stood on his tiptoes as usual, to try and get to harry's height. 

harry's hands cupped louis' cheeks as their lips met. the kiss was slow and careful, and louis felt safe. he held his arms around harry's waist. 

"i love you." louis whispered. he pressed his lips back to harry's with his mouth open slightly... things were heating up.

a couple minutes later the two parted, short of breath. harry ran a hand through his long hair, still watching louis.

"are you okay?" he asked. louis sighed with heavy shoulders. 

"i think so." he answered. "you always make everything better."

"that's why i'm here." harry grinned. "ready to go?" louis took harry's left hand in his right and squeezed. 

"no matter what happens, i will always, always love you."

"louis, we're going out to lunch, not to war. i love you, too, everything will be fine."

"talk about role-reversal." louis muttered. 

"would you like to do the honors?" harry asked, motioning to the door. louis stood on his tiptoes and kissed harry one more time before opening the door.

fifteen minutes later, the pair arrived in downtown los angeles. 

"should we take the valet parking?" harry asked.

"no, we always get driven around." louis responded. "let's park ourselves."

with a nod harry drove past the restaurant and to a parking spot on the side of the rode about a block away. 

"nobody knows we're here..." louis mused, looking out the window to see pedestrians walking by without a question of who was in the dark car. 

"hopefully we can walk there without anyone noticing. if someone tries to stop us, do you want to stop or keep going?" harry always had louis' best interests at heart. 

"if it's a fan, maybe. no photographers, though." 

"of course."

"ready?" harry asked.

"nope. what about you?"

"not at all." 

"then let's do this." louis leaned over to kiss harry's cheek and then opened the car door. harry rushed to meet him and took louis' hand in his, squeezing.

their hearts were beating at a fast pace, wondering when someone would notice. it was expected, after all.

almost twelve feet from the enterance of the restaurant, harry was confident that they'd go unnoticed and enter casually. 

that is, until someone stopped them. 

"excuse me?" she said, standing in front of louis and harry.

"hello!" harry grinned, attempting to look happy and excited to see a fan. the girl glanced down at louis and harry's interlocked fingers. 

"hi… i'm not seeing things, right? like, you're actually here?"

"yes, love, we're actually here." louis answered. the girl looked about seventeen years old and she couldn't hold back her smile. 

"i don't want to bother you since this is your first time in public since… um… you know." she didn't want to say it because she was worried about making either of the two uncomfortable. 

"since we came out." harry finished for her. "that's alright, how about a quick photo?"

"yes, that would be great." she smiled. she politely asked a man walking by to take the photo and she stood in between louis and harry, a grin on her face showing that she might never be as happy in her life as she was in that very moment. 

"nice to meet you!" louis said after. "what's your name?"

"i'm tara." she answered. "and before you go, just know that i'm supporting you in everything you do and so are so many others. we love you and if you're happy, then we are happy."

louis looked up at harry, squeezing his hand. 

"i told you so." he smirked. tara laughed. 

"bye, guys, have fun and always remember that we love you!"

"we love you just as much." harry answered. "thank you."

tara ran off excitedly typing away on her phone and louis sighed after a minute. 

"is she gonna give away our location?"

"whatever happens, we'll get through it. love you forever, louis."

"love you forever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm gonna make chapters a bit shorter and update 1-2 times a day instead!


End file.
